Leading from the Center, Part I: Finding Your True Values

Amy Aguilar

Empowering Growth Through Personal & Professional Coaching | Career Development & Assessments | Leadership Support | Organizational Culture | Resume & LinkedIn Alignment

October 9, 2025

Before we can lead others, we must first learn to lead ourselves.

Leadership isn’t a title or a position—it’s the alignment between who you are and how you show up in the world. Whether you’re leading yourself, a team, a family, a classroom, or an organization, it begins at the same place: the center.

This multi-part series, Leading from the Center, begins where all authentic leadership begins—within. Over the coming weeks, we’ll move outward from self-leadership to relationships, teamwork, and ultimately to the culture we help create in our organizations and communities.

But first, we start with values.

What Are Values and Why Do They Matter?

Values are the internal compass that guide our decisions, behaviors, and priorities. They shape how we spend our time, what we tolerate, what we fight for, and even how we define success.

Researcher Shalom Schwartz identified values as “guiding principles in people’s lives”—core beliefs that transcend specific situations and influence behavior across time and context. When our values and actions align, we experience integrity, satisfaction, and calm. When they clash, we feel tension, restlessness, burnout, or guilt.

In leadership, values alignment is where trust begins. It’s what gives your decisions consistency and your words credibility. But few of us ever pause to ask: Where did my values come from—and are they truly mine?

Inherited Values vs. Chosen Values

From childhood, we absorb the values of our families, culture, and communities. We’re shaped by what was rewarded, criticized, or modeled. Sociologist Morris Massey described three developmental periods that influence value formation:

The Imprint Period (0–7 years) – when we absorb values almost unconsciously from parents and caregivers.

The Modeling Period (8–13 years) – when we adopt the behaviors and values of those we admire.

The Socialization Period (14–21 years) – when peers, culture, and institutions reinforce which values are “acceptable.”

As adults, we often carry these inherited values unquestioned. They may serve us—or hold us back. The challenge of self-leadership is to pause long enough to ask:

“Which values truly belong to me, and which ones belong to the expectations of others?”

Distinguishing between the two is what allows authenticity to take root.

Finding Values Through Fear

One of the most revealing (and unexpected) ways to uncover your authentic values is by exploring your fears.

I’ve often told my clients: Your fears are mirrors reflecting what you value most.

If you fear being unheard, you might deeply value respect or connection. If you fear failure, you may value achievement or competence. If you fear loss or separation, you likely value belonging, love, or security.

Neuroscience supports this connection. Studies show that emotional learning—the way we form fears and attachments—shares pathways with how we learn what’s important or rewarding (Wallenberg Foundation, 2023). Similarly, research on perceived value threats finds that fear responses intensify when we feel our core values are endangered (Iosifyan et al., 2021).

So when you sit with fear, you’re not just uncovering anxiety—you’re tracing it back to the heart of what matters most to you.

Reflection Prompts: Clarifying Your True Values

Take a few quiet moments this week to explore these questions. You might journal, meditate, or talk them through with someone you trust.

Fear Reflection

Value Discovery

Alignment Check

Write freely, without judgment. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s awareness.

Leading from the Center Starts Here

When you understand your values, you gain a foundation for every other part of leadership. From here, everything else—your relationships, your influence, your ability to build trust—begins to flow outward.

Over the next installments in this series, we’ll explore:

Part II: Leading in Relationships – how values shape trust and communication

Part III: Leading Teams – the bridge between personal integrity and professional collaboration

Part IV: Leading Culture – how personal alignment builds organizational and community cultue

Free Companion Resource

 Access your free “Values Discovery Workbook” and other resources.

https://www.lifecompassconsultants.org/compass-growth-circle

This guided mini-workbook will help you:

Identify inherited vs. authentic values

Use fear as a lens to uncover what truly matters

Create a personal “Values Compass” statement

Closing Reflection

“You don’t discover your values by looking outside yourself—you uncover them by listening deeply within.”

When you lead from your center, your leadership becomes steady, grounded, and deeply human.

Let’s begin there.